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Beyonce - Giselle - Knowles

If I don't do it now, I doubt I'll ever do it. She deserves a post, but it's too hard. It's like trying to describe why you use your hand to type, or why you walk with two feet. Anyone that knows me probably would agree that clinical help for my obsession wouldn't be out of the question. It's not just me though, with my family (my sister) this obsession has evolved into a religion and Her name is heralded and not used in vain in this house.

Another reason I've taken this long to do this post is that, it has to be worthy of Her. It can't be just any other post, it's Beyonce.  I'll try my best, but I just have to jump into it or I'll never do it.

I'll start with the history of our relationship. The funny thing now is that before her first solo album, actually probably during that era too, I hated this woman. Well not 'hated', that's a bit too strong, but i didn't LOVE her. I was a big fan of DC3 (Destiny's Child for all you illiterates out there) and I always felt like Bee got everything, she sang the most on all the songs, got credits on all the songs, and was always in the middle. Yeah, immature, but I was younger and that stuff bugged me. She was clearly the best in the group; but I still loved the other two (they really should be somewhere on this list!) After the mastery of  'Dangerously In Love' the album, espiecally 'Crazy In Love' which was MY SOOOOOOONGGGG in primary school! I fell in love.

The obsession really intensified like 2 years ago. Fast forward to now and I'm a headcase. I more or less know where she is week-in-week out, which is bad, but not as bad as the fact that I follow her dancers, her band, her sister, her cousin and her assistant on Twitter. Taking all this in mind, I pretty much know all there is to know about her, there are so many different TV channels that try to do her biography, and they never tell me anything new. Which is worrying, the only thing I don't know is where she got married.

She's not just the perfect woman, she's like the perfect human being. By now, what you've read, you probably think I'm crazy, most probably because I keep calling it an 'obsession'. I was going through all the things I've bought because of this woman. I must have spent like £200, that includes all the trident packets i bought hoping to win tickets, and the cans of pepsis and all the DVDS, CDs, Calendars and ish. Right now, I'm waiting for two different DVDs to come out, I already have money put aside. It's not like I just watch these DVDs and cast them aside, I know must of them off by heart, like what she does in them says in them, the arrangements, the key-changes, everything.

The biggest regret of my life is probably never seeing her in concert, or never meeting her in person, which sounds weird I know. But she always tours at such bad times, like come on Bee, why can't you be touring now in the summer! To be honest part of me doesn't want to, I think i'd get chucked out, I'd lose my voice in the first 5 seconds and then shit my pants and just start crying. Now if I met her on the street, what would I do? I actually can't even say, I probably sound like a mad serial killer but I'm sure she knows I love her.

Oh and another thing, I'll defend her to the death. I don't care if your dad just died, you come for Bee and I'll come for you. Yes, she's the best singer in the world, the best actress, the most gorgeous woman, the best dancer, the voice of our generation, the biggest star on the planet, the most creative songwriter, bla bla bla. I could go on, and if anyone tries to go against this, I will argue to the death.

So there it is, the number 1. Come back Bee, I'm bored, screw having babies with Jay-Zed!

Me Vlogging

Tried vlogging, yay or nay? 

Inception

After all my talk I saw Inception yesterday, it's a good film - I really didn't want to review it for some reason, and I won't, I'll just say a few things about it; which will probably end up formulating a review. With all things considered I'd probably give this film an 8/10, it's definitely not the best movie ever but the reason I think this film stands out this year is it's obscure creativity. The film is wholly original, although the idea/theme that is at the core of the film is quite simple, almost trite, and that is dealing with grief and guilt.

The cast of Inception is one thing that definitely warrants the attention this film has received, notably Ellen Page (Juno) and DiCaprio, I'm not sure i've spelt any of these names right but their performances speak for themselves. Normally in films like this the direction and images we see overshadow and overwhelm the actors, but  Leonardo manages to fight his way through, although he has substantial experience in doing this in films like Titanic and Catch Me If You Can. He's so intense throughout the film. Ellen Page is just as impressive, she does so well in every scene she's in, I can't think of any other actress her age that would have done such a good job.

Most people like to talk about the plot of this film, but by now we know how smart, creative and abstract it is. The ending is something I don't love, I really enjoyed the first half of the film, but for some reason, not so much the second half. But overall I definitely recommend seeing the film, it's definitely had an impact on me, in my dream last night I was doubting whether I was in a dream, normally i just get on with what I'm dreaming about. In the dream I was doing very ordinary things, but still had doubts. Oh, and I suddenly think I'm a wizard, not sure how much the film has to do with that though.

There's something about this film that means I can't put together a standard review, it's a good film, go see it. But it's not the best film ever, it's not even the best film this year.

Condom Commercial Featuring Epic Match at Wimbledon

Genius!

Economics?

Before I do my Beyonce post, I don't know when that'll be i thought i should chat with you guys, never just write to write these days like the beginnning, always a story, a review or something. Tonight some people are getting gattered on the beach, some are out with friends having a good time, but here I am sitting here on Facebook, but worse yet, I'm in the middle of going through my geekiest hobby yet.

What I do for fun is go through University websites and read about some of the courses on offer, and fret over the entry requirements. Most Year 13s would probably confess that their undergraduate degree was something that they decided in the end of year 12 or beginning of year 13. But I've known and ranked the course and universities in order of preference. I've been doing this since the end of year 10 probably, but it was literally just for LOLs, but now it's actually a reality. In a year or so, this is something I'll need to do for real.

The main department I scrutinize is Economics, and this is one of my favourites http://www.cam.ac.uk/admissions/undergraduate/courses/economics/index.html

I'd love to go there, and to do that course would be legendary - Keynes went there, the current chancellor went there and did the course - but yeah there are other good courses.I normally steer clear of London School Of Economics, but I recently looked at their courses seriously, and it's all so so yummy! I wish i could do ALL of them! But yeah, it may be the descriptions, they make Accounting look exciting!

But yeah, that's what I do, other universities's Economics I've looked at are Warwick, Nottingham and Oxford (Economics and Management) I'm such a loser, but I'm so goal-oriented, I know exactly what I want to do? But i'm not sure if that's a GREAT thing, I haven't looked at anything but Economics, so maybe missing out?

#1 - The Queen, The One, The Only

Serena and Venus Williams - #2 and #3

You must have known. These two literally run my friggin life! When I went to Wimbledon I was almost hoping I didn’t see these demi-gods because I don’t know how I would’ve reacted, seriously! I met Sascha Bajin, Serena’s hitting partner, any casual tennis fan would probably just walk past him, but he was THIS close to me, and I said hi, he looked my way, then I screamed, and he smiled and ran away. He actually did run away, but I know why, not just because I’m weird, it was because he just stepped out of center court to re-string or replace one of Serena’s racket, it was in the middle of her match against Sharapova at Wimbledon this year. But yeah, that little anecdote probably shows you how much I’m obsessed.

What loser would by an autobiography of a 27 year old tennis player, this one! I proudly own On The Line (Serena’s book), I got it from my best friend on my birthday, and I remember I was so happy to get it, I remember taking a photo with it, how funny. I took photos of the book as well, it’s such a good book, but I’m not sure I finished it! I have way too much serious books to read now and I found that while I was reading it, I pretty much knew everything already. That’s how bad I am, I could have probably wrote that book.

How many famous people can you say you know their birthdays, their sisters’ names, their parents’ names, their parent’s girlfriend name, their hometown, their education, I could go on. I decided to group them together to avoid the age old question of, ‘Kingsley, who do you like better?’ I refuse to answer that, it’s probably quite obvious, but it’s disrespectful to choose. It’s literally like choosing who your favourite sister is.

I’m trying to remember when I first started to like them; I always knew who they were, as for some reason they were always were brought up in random rap songs. But I remember specifically 2007 Wimbledon, watching Venus in the first round, I don’t think I’d even watched Wimbledon before that year, my GOD, I was missing so much. Venus was so good to watch that tournament, as was Serena, but she was injured. I remember being literally hooked to that specific tournament; I remember so so much about it, most of all Venus winning the whole thing. I started playing tennis straight after that tournament, with my sister, and we literally copied the way they hit.

It probably wasn’t ideal for me, a teenage boy to do so, and maybe I’d be better if I tried to copy someone like Federer, Djokovic or Nadal, but fuck those lesbians, I love the Williams.

Another thing people find weird, is that I prefer women’s tennis to men’s tennis. For me it’s not even a competition. I guess most of it is because of these two, their story is so so compelling, literally such a fairytale story. I so wish I started playing tennis earlier, so I could have gotten into it and all that. I was basically an OAP in tennis terms, no one good starts tennis that old! So I gave up, and just play recreationally. I still kick ass but still.

These two literally make my life, y’all must know. You can literally ask me anything about them. I’ll die when they stop playing tennis, literally die. I don’t know what I’ll do! The worse thing is that I missed their ‘glory days’ which was at the turn of the century between 2000-2003 where they were completely dominant, but this era is pretty good for them too.

Notice how i decided to use smuttier photos for them, thought it'd be a change :)

So there it is, no 2, and no. 3, but who is number 1?

Top 10 Favourite People... List So Far

I plan on finishing the list today, but here's a little run through of the list so far.

10. My Friends
















9. Will Smith

8. Youtube

7. Caroline Wozniacki

Just realised i missed out #6 - haha, can i count? doing 2 Maths A Levels, and i can't even count! 

#6 J-LO

Sorry y'all, you'll never know why! This woman, like 5 years ago, would have been #1. 

5. Brandy Norwood

4. Tyra Banks

Now for the Top 3.....

WHY God WHY!

She hurt her foot on glass in a restaurant, she's out for a month, probably more. She may miss the US OPEN! So so upset with this fuckery! Just after winning Wimbledon as well! 

Inception - Hype

I've been reading through some Inception reviews after i noticed it was a trending topic on Twitter, and then later went on IMDB and saw that it's rated at 9.3/10, which is nothing short of EPIC. It now ranks at #3 in the all-time list, i'm not sure how long it'll stay there but it's now behind Shawshank Redemption (#1) and behind The Godfather (#2) after overtaking Godfather II which now ranks at number 4. I've seen NONE of this top 4, should i be worried? Godfather is a no-go, way too long. Shawshank is definitely on the list to read though! This is THE movie geek site, most people there know what they're talking about.

So what's the hype? To be honest, i'm not too sure what it's about and from what i've read going to go see the movie won't improve my understand significantly. Everyone seems to be coming out of it quite dazed and confused, and seem to have very strong opinions about it. There's always films that people LOVE to make sweeping statements about, and Inception seems to be one of those films at the moment, that is getting people talking, i mean look at me here now... blogging about it.

The most interesting review I've read so far is this, I think it's important to start with some of the negative reviews - New York magazine David Edelstein wrote  -

"I truly have no idea what so many people are raving about. It’s as if someone went into their heads while they were sleeping and planted the idea that Inception is a visionary masterpiece and—hold on … Whoa! I think I get it. The movie is a metaphor for the power of delusional hype—a metaphor itself"

 Quite dramatic, however the last sentence is very interesting. Christopher Nolan is a very intelligent filmmaker, nothing is beyond him, perhaps this may be an inadvertent metaphor. It's very rare we see hype like this for a movie, we see films celebrated every day, but this film takes it to another level . You cannot escape Inception, and i'm sure come Oscar season the Academy will be driving the bandwagon.

Here are some more negative reviews -

"Despite its big budget ... Inception is full of second-rate aesthetics, yet when shoddy aesthetics become the new standard, it’s sufficient to up-end the art of cinema"

"But though there is a lot to see in Inception, there is nothing that counts as genuine vision. Mr. Nolan’s idea of the mind is too literal, too logical, too rule-bound to allow the full measure of madness"

I'm sure by now you've all been bombarded by positive reviews, but here are some of my favorite quotes from them which make me and millions of others want to see this film.

Smart, innovative, and thrilling, Inception is that rare summer blockbuster that succeeds viscerally as well as intellectually.

This is possibly one of the only perfect films I have ever seen. It is absolutely confident in every way, something which is extremely refreshing, even more so than Avatar.


I'll close with this, perhaps the complexity and ambiguity of this film inspires such curiosity and interest that has warranted such 'hype' The only reason I want to see this film is because with all the trailers, TV spots and reviews I'm still not sure WHAT THIS FILM IS ABOUT! It will have more success, that's a given. Personally, i'll be keeping an eye to see if it can overtake the Godfather, that would be an impressive feat.

What's On...

..YOUTUBE

I spend my life on YouTube, literally, here's what i'm watching :

Glee auditions for next year-




Mitch probably will play Kurt's boyfriend or something like that, don't think he'll get it, he can't sing, BUT he can dance. Would be good to see him on the show, he would be like the boy version of Britanny. Charice is almost definitely on the show! Watch Charice, amazing, did the tour version, which i LOVE. God i can't wait for the next season!


TVTankerton is at it again, with another hilarious video -

So SO funny, seriously, get a youtube account and subscribe to these guys, NOW! Do it before they get youtube famous so you can say, oh i was a fan before they were big!

Weird flexible man

T-W-I-L-I-G-H-T

Okay, i saw Twilight a few days ago and I decided not to post immediately afterwards because i loved it so much i would've sounded like a hysterical Japanese fanboy.  But i just read someone's blogpost that reminded me about the film so here we are.




Before Eclipse, every time someone brought up Twilight i would completely cringe and shut off. It sounded way too much like Harry Potter, which I COMPLETELY HATE, now this may shock many of you but I've never read a Potter book and I've only sat through like 2 of those movies. They disgust me, too British, too stale, no JAZZ. Twilight seemed like such a fangirl thing, where 12 year old girls would throw their little 'Team Edward' and 'Team Jacob' panties on the screen, and wet themselves, sort of like the Jonas Brothers and High School Musical (although i love those things) The only reason I went to see it was because a very good friend paid for me, so yeah.

The biggest surprise was that it was set in the real world, like i had no idea that they went to normal school and all that. Another thing I don't like about Potter is that they go to shitty hogwarts and get on stupid trains. I'm sorry if i'm upsetting any hardcore Potter fans but i just hate it! Anything set in an American high school, i will love - High School Musical, Saved by the Bell, That's So Raven, The O.C., Gilmore Girls, i literally could go on for days.

They are films you watch to look at the acting, cinematography, direction and Twilight just isn't one of them. It's way too gripping and there is way too much going on, I don't know what it is about the film that made me totally shut off and ENJOY it, that's quite a rare accomplishment, i think it just had so much hype, and i was with such fun people who knew what they were getting into. Another surprise, it was quite funny, I didn't expect it to be funny AT ALL, I loved when Jacob said 'We both know, I'm hotter than you'

Now my wish is to read the books, watch the films and buy the T-Shirt. Sign me up, like seriously! I might actually give Potter a second chance in a completely unrelated topic - maybe i've got him wrong. Or not.

OK, let's upset some more people - Jacob (Taylor Lautner) has a really weird face, he literally looks like a warewolf.

I AM.. LIVID

Too pissed and tired to write about it now! But an angry post IS coming!

An hour later -
Ok, not so angry!

But my night was that, some twats threw me in a pool, with my camera and my phone STILL in my pocket. They won't work now, and i leave for Italy on the 5th, now what am i going to do! For FUCK'S sakeeee!
And my favourite shirt in the world got thrown in the fire by some low-rent twin twat, UGH. Like none of these were malicious, but still. Came home at 6, hav slept about 6 hours, i'm not even that tired, just annoyed! No camera, no phone, but still loved it.



DIE DIE DIE



Life without a phone - I use my phone like every second of my life, this is so depressing, what am i going to do with my life! I have no idea what the time is or anything! I loved that phone, i just got it doing the things i wanted to. Not perfect but for FUCK'S SAKE!!!! Christina Aguilera's Hurt is the PERFECT song for what i'm feeling, might sing it in a vlog? GOD!

Music's Elite in 2000 - Grammy Portrait

10 Years on, how many can you remember? How many could you name? About 5 acts now are totally irrelevant.

#4 - Tyra Banks

Seriously, Tyra Banks, nuff said. Have you EVER seen anyone look THIS good in a bikini? Now we have DEFINITELY come to the people I stalk/used to stalk, I was obsessed with this woman like 3 or 4 years ago; to the point that I knew what she earned every year, where she was week-in-week out, where she went out to dinner, who her friends were. I think I’ll stop there, that’s already too much.

I just realised something, my first obsession was Pamela Anderson (Big Boobs) then Jennifer Lopez (Big Butt) then Tyra Banks, who is like a mix of both.

I’m trying to remember when I first ‘met’ her, maybe in Fresh Prince, where she was that angry black girl, who Will wanted to fuck. Yeah, that must be it. Then America’s Next Top Model, which I LOVED, not so much now because I don’t watch it, but Cycle 3 and Cycle 4 were the BEST, well Cycle 3 especially. I doubt anyone will remember Eva, Toccara, Yaya, Nicole and mandem! Best series by far.

It wasn’t just ANTM, I fucking loved watching that crappy talkshow she did! It’s cancelled now L or she quit or something. She’s going back to modelling now, with Victoria’s Secret, at least that’s what I heard last.

Anyone that knows me, should know that this woman HAD to be on the list, and the rest of the list follows the same trend. Any average Joe Bloggs that has spent 10 minutes with me could probably fill in the last three spots, or could they? Yeah they probably could, but that’s beside the point!

Fresh Prince, ANTM, Tyra Show, all my favourite things in the world, in one woman. I haven’t heard a lot from her in the last few months, not sure what she’s doing with her life. That would have NEVER happen a few years ago, but Tyra, things change, people change. 

Deciding what picture to put up was the hardest thing ( ;) ) 

5 Years Ago at Stage School...

I played the Dentist in the Little Shop of Horrors, today i want to share the story of that week. It was after year 5, so that's about 5 years ago right? I payed like £150 to spend a week at Stagecoach, this was back when i was sure i was going to be an actor, i'm still amazing at acting but you know, all good actors had a fallback. Everyone there was already so good, they all could dance, sing, rap, ballet and everything! And there i was, the chubby black kid from the Bronx. I don't remember what we did on the first day, fuck that i don't even remember all we did during the week, but i do remember the auditions.

I auditioned for the main role, if you've seen the movie, i auditioned for the guy that owns the plant, back then i thought i would be good for it, now i thank God i didn't get it. But like, i was so pissed off they didn't give me the main role, i think i cried? OK, i probably didn't cry, but i was so upset! I put it down to me being black, as i do all my problems. The dentist in the show only had a few lines and ONE song, UGH!

They all loved me there in the rehearsals, i really miss it! I want to do more stuff like that! I had three back up singers, and this one SLUT was CONSTANTLY trying to steal my shine. I still get pissed off about it today, waht a fucking whore. I shut that hoe down EVERYTIME, everytime she moved forward to join me, i'd sing louder and move in front of her. In the real shows she did nothing, thankfully. I performed the song i posted, rocked the house, an old granny came up to me later and asked for my autograph, haha! I loved the week!

I think after writing all this i want to be an actor again, i'm actually doing a play again this winter, for the school. Two Planks and a Passion, medium role, good enough. Really arrogant and holier-than-thou character, can't wait :)

Yeah, i just came across that video, and started reminiscing, thought i'd share with you beautiful people.

The Best Video

Watch it, i promise you, you'll love it.

Guys, view at your own discretion, this is something.

http://worldstarhiphop.com/videos/video.php?v=wshh70U95GoteBCrV1AK


This is so funny, SO SO SO funny!

#5 - Brandy Norwood

#5 Favourite Person in the world - this picture says it all really.

 I've bought every album she's ever had (post 2005) and i mean BOUGHT, not got for free. I love her, i took one of her albums on a trip to York in Year 6, and i loved York, so the album just brings back so many good memories, it's one of those things you know? Afrodisaic is DANGEROUSLY UNDERrated so many good songs; an acquired taste though.

She really should be ranked higher, don't think i'm doing her justice her, because i really am in love with her. Anything she does i'll be on it, any book she writes (when she does) i'll read it, every track she records i'll listen to it. She has a reality show atm, i can't wait for it to come to the UK, probably have to wait like 50 more months FML.

Love Brandy, she would be higher if she released an album in the last two years :'(.

50 Cent Sold-Out Show in Salvador,Brazil

Haha, lol jk He's a total hack. This is what like 10% of full capacity, that's just sad man. I have a real problem with this guy, he is just such a loser now. Ever since that Kanye West comment he's career has gone down the toilet, he probably hasn't had ONE SINGLE hit since then, and to add salt to his wounds, here is this pic. It's just sad, it's not even a rehearsal or some shit, it is CLEARLY in the middle of his set.

Sad, sad story.

Let's laugh at his sorry broke ass.

Happy Birthday Caroline Wozniacki

Turns 20 today!

Happy Birthday

FML FML

Why didn't i go? Haha, i feel like everyone is out somewhere fighting a war, and i'm stuck at home alone. TO make it worse, facebook is empty apart from the other people sulking they didn't go!

FMFL. Like three months ago I didn't want to go to Lounge, two months ago i didn't want to go, a month ago i didn't want to go, last week i didn't want to go, but in the last few days when i truly realised EVERYONE was going, I WANT TO GO! :'( But i don't ACTUALLY want to go, get me?

To make it worse i can hear all those lesbians on that farm having fun, fucking each other and having white-teen drama, all without me! Someone's already been impregnated by now, and i wouldn't even know!

The only consolation is that next weekend is Holly's and that's FREE, so woohoo. One thing that bugs me about Lounge is the prices, i mean COME ON, A Ground Pass to Wimbledon is £20, center court on the first 3 days doesn't go over £50, an average Beyonce ticket is about £50, a happy meal is what £2.99, and some whitebreds down at Merton Farm expect me to pay £75 to spend the weekend sweating it out listening to shitty bands, pfft. The only reason NOW, why i want to go is because, as i said, EVERYONE is there. And to make it worse, my sister who always said it was shit and that i shouldn't go, guess what, she's there and loving it; but she didn't have to pay, so props to her!

This rant was so therapeutic! There, i'm over it. Ugh, i wish it would rain or some shit, but no, has to be the hottest day of the year for those lucky lesbians (alliteration huh?)

Next year, maybe? pfftt

Talented much?

I guess i can go ahead and add Violin playing to one of my MANY talents, i'm unstoppable! I'm literally scaring myself.

In case some of you semi-illiterate people didn't recognise that piece that was Richard Wagner's 'The Ring Cycle' composed in the late 19th Century, you mad?

Back to The list - #6 Glee People

Do y'all even remember there was a list? :'(

Glee People - #6

Really missing Glee atm, they always have SUCH long breaks, how frustrating. We are all suffering because of it, I’ve even forgotten what they sound like! Well that’s a lie as I listen to the songs all the time, loser much?

My favourite is… I actually don’t know! Hard to choose just one, but I think Rachel, everyone hates her but I love her. She is sort of me! Overdramatic and better than you. 

If I’m honest I really do not like Finn, I always say this and I’ll say it again, he is way too tall for TV, it seems like he is ALWAYS crouching; just generally a very awkward character to watch on TV. Worst of all he can’t sing and seems to get all the songs on the show, which makes no sense. Ugh, why couldn’t they just get someone good to do the male lead. Not a TREE. I know many will hate me for saying this, but I hate Finn!

I wonder what they’ll do in say 3 seasons from now, they can’t be in high-school forever; on that note the actor that plays 16-year old Finn is actually 28. Don’t understand why they don’t just get young people to play it, everyone is over 20 on that show, but whatever. Where was I? Yeah, what are they going to do when everyone gets into their 30s, would love a constant cycle of the cast, would be exciting. Perhaps this time, no tree, no guy in wheelchair and no token black girl ( Though, I do LOVE Mercedes)

My favourite songs from Glee? (You didn’t ask but yeah) Probably Like a Prayer or Don’t Rain on My Parade. Actually a video of me singing… actually I won’t finish that sentence on second thought.

Glee needs to come back NOW, not in September, life is so gleeless!

Nope, I don’t stalk these people, but for months in a year I watch them and listen to their songs every day of the episode week, sad? Maybe, but you lavv it!

Serena's #13

GREATEST.OF.ALL.TIME

Go 'head ReeRee!

#13 Slam
#4 Wimbledon Singles
#10 Wimbledon Title

The best

Nightmares

Started having serious nightmares last night. Two in succession, well calling them nightmares is a bit dramatic, let's say bad dreams. They all were about one thing, results day.

In both of the nightmares someone would step on my results sheet before I open them, and when i'd open them I'd see some terrible results like Bs and Cs, and only a few stars. In everyone i'd panic, and for the first one, i SERIOUSLY thought it was real, we all get those dreams were it's hard to snap out of it, but this was even scarier. I'm going to die of a heart attack before the 19th and the 24th!

But yeah, not going to write about it anymore. Wasting my time, nothing can be changed, so yeah.

Brighter Note -
Mummy just booked holiday to Italy in August :)